it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
