Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
