I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
