It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
