my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
