Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
