i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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