Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
