my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
