I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
