Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
