to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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