remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
