Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
