its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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