It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm like, not good at living.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
