I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
