i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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