it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
