I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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