Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Drake has all the answers
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
