i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
