Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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