So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
