Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
