So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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