No awkward lesbian experiences without me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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