just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
