i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
try to milk me bitch
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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