You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
