Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
