Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
