wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
