I must be too annoying 4 u.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
