naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
and she was petting her beer can
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What a dumb baby whore.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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