why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
