so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Drake has all the answers
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
