I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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