when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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