Only a mothe r could love this liver
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
