i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
