they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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