so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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