big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
