I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I cockslap morals
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
