Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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