whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Barsexuality is the new black.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
