So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
