So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
