does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
