I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
