I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
