The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
