If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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