Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
