it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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